Sun 20 Apr 2008
This happened a week ago Saturday. I’ve been called hard-headed before. I’m not as bad as my father. He tells a joke about flying over his bicycle handlebars and hitting the sidewalk straight on with his head. The punch line is “they repaired the sidewalk the next day.”
Anyway, I was shearing goats, and my clipping machine wasn’t cutting hair effectively, so I switched to the more effective shearing machine, which is also louder. My goat had been a total sweetie and cooperating very well, but he was scared and dived under the deck to hide. I didn’t let go fast enough and hit my head, hard, on the side of the deck. Yeah, it hurt a lot. There was a huge bump on my head. Nobody said much about that though, until 3 days later when it started draining and started to look like a black eye. Again, this is not the first time that this has happened to me (different circumstances). One would think that I might start learning when to let go.
Guess what? The head injury didn’t hurt nearly as much as another situation where I didn’t know when to let go. Last week (immediately after the head injury, when I was hurting), I lost the ability to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. I had been containing it for a long time, and it leaked out and I couldn’t stop it. I am glad that I stood up for values that are important to me, but the way that I did it was out of control. I should have let go a long time ago. I was a member of the community team here, and I couldn’t deal with the split between representing the team, and the team taking actions that I couldn’t support. I should have resigned rather than repeating my own feelings. Then, I hope, I would have been freer to express my opinions. I waited too long to let go (for lots of reasons such as not wanting to lose the close association I had with people I was working with), and it hurt.
How many of our problems in life are related to not letting go when we need to? Probably more than we think. Letting go is really hard. Think about letting go of the past, letting go of our problems, letting go of hard feelings. Letting go of our excuses for being the way that we are. I’m not one to lecture. This is my problem. I just think that it’s a problem that probably affects a lot of us. It’s not always easy to see how not letting go hurts us, but it does hurt and limit us.
Just something to think about.
Apparently I can’t upload music here. There is a song by Michael McLean called Let it Go, that seems to fit perfectly. It will be available here for one week.
April 23rd, 2008 at 9:25 pm
I wish with all my heart you were still part of the team, I miss you.
April 24th, 2008 at 6:21 am
I miss you too, and the team.
I’m severely lacking in ability to let go, still. I keep holding on until I’m beaten into a pulp, and I still can’t let go.
May 9th, 2008 at 6:57 am
Ouch. Yes, you have said you are hard-headed and need someone to give you a firm tap now and then…but that’s overkill! You’re probably being too tough on yourself: I bet that goat took off quicker than the wag of it’s tail! I have a bunny who runs from loud noise (but who can blame him with ears like that?)
Learning when to let go is a process. I doubt we are ever educated for all circumstances, as each new venture can teach us a new level of it.
When it pertains to something near and dear to our hearts, yay something so strong that it IS part of us, the very idea of “letting go” isn’t rational. We tend to correlate letting go with not holding it any more. (And that does sound rational now doesn’t it?)
Once we learn how to let go of the heartache, the tempestuous feelings, the fear, and all the negative surrounding it, we realize what is left is the still, small voice of reason - and that part of us that we thought we would lose in the process.
It’s still there. ((hugs))
May 9th, 2008 at 7:33 am
((( hugs )))
Letting go is really hard. I’m finding tons of things I know I need to let go of, and I guess I don’t know how yet. Sometimes I’m just simply holding on to the pain, nursing it along.
The voice of reason must be hiding under the deck with the goat.
July 6th, 2008 at 7:52 am
I have found postings by this group to be helpful. I am not suggesting you join them or any thing else, simply that I have used this material to my advantage.
http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/SH9_3.HTM
Robert